A short story it won’t take long. - A Liampaddy Poem

I think it's safe to say 2020 has been difficult for us all. with myself, I have found it looking back on things that shouldn't matter or even be thought about. Yet with lockdown had everyone either embracing their hidden talents or their TikTok talents. With me, I shielded myself with writing. I don't have a tendency to speak much which I have discovered later is vital to talk more, I would write my feelings out. From poetry to diary entries to even music. I could muster the words physically but I could write them to air them out.

I want to bring context to the poem you are about to read "A Short story it won't take long' I wanted to write something that shows I have experienced pain from losing friends, loved ones you named it. I have experienced it, I fell into a dark place yet the only thing that managed to pull me back was loving individuals and my writing. 

This is also a poem I wrote when I lost my circle of friends, the circle of friends I spent most of my life with. We did/done everything together to eventually just come to a sudden end. I wanted to accept it and this was another way how I came to terms with it. 

Hopefully, someone can relate 

I wanna start by saying sorry for the hurt I cause

It’s not one of those speeches for sympathy so hold the applause 

I’ve lost people that was my doing 

If only you could see the hurt and pain that was left brewing 

I wonder if I mattered in their life’s when they walked

Wondering if it would have changed things If we just talked 

Remember the days we cracked jokes like what a ball 

Now I’m not in their life’s to see their babies crawl 

Maybe I wasn’t there when they needed to talk

Now I’m all alone needing to walk 

I’m left with feeling dread and worry 

Still hold useless information to heart like your favourite comedian being Bill Murray 

Truth is we just grew apart 

Wish they’d given an explanation before they’d depart 

I don’t hold resentment, I take the blame

Knowing we won’t be in each other’s life’s any more that’s the real shame 

I’ve been hurt and no longer trust others 

If it’s the case or not for them they’ll always be my brothers

Despite how much friends I make I always feel lonely 

Waiting for the day to feel normal. If only. 

I guess I should accept it and be happy

hope one day you'll all read this while changing the little ones nappy

I may have been a lousy friend but I was hurting and growing 

little did I know I was pushing you all away without even knowing

I wanted to write this to say I don't blame you for leaving

hopefully one day It'll stop the pain and grieving 

I wrote this to show you can be vulnerable once it while it'll help you grow

speak up you're hurting, let others know 

don't suffer in silence, let them listen 

then piece by piece you'll get your glow back and glisten

Thank you for reading... 

Let me know your thoughts. 

@Liampaddyy on twitter

Stay safe X